20 / Male / Straight / Widowed
Stop Right There Criminal Scum,
My name is Imperial Guard, and I hate every single one of you. All of you are low-endurance, low-intelligence troublemakers who spend every second of your day looking for laws to break. You are everything bad in Tamriel. Honestly, have any of you ever bought something? I mean, I guess it's fun stealing shopkeepers' property because of your low score in mercantile, but you all take to a whole new level. This is even worse than pickpocketing wandering traders when no guards are around.
Don't be a criminal. Dont just hit anyone within eyesight. I'm pretty much perfect. I was captain of the running team, and starter on my shouting team. What sports do you play, other than "commit senseless acts of violence and theft against those who cannot defend themselves"? I also have full Imperial Armor, and have arrested the hero many times (She just paid the fine; S*** was SO gold). You are all criminals who should just resist arrest.

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Hey, you mix potions, right? Can you brew me an ale?