69 / Female / Foodsexual / Single
Sistren Nikolai.Andreyevich
Shire (Middle-Earth) – US

I can show you the world. Just dont file harassment.
Spam me with hearts or anything else.


~"Look! His hand penises are becoming erect!!"
~"Now it's holding up an array of fully erect HAND PENISES! If it tries to insert them, ACTIVATE VIVISECTORS!"
~"Those are toes, Doctor Klein. The penis is a much... laaaarrrrgerrr extremity." "That's strange, I don't remember the human penis being THAT large!" "It depends on one's... own frame of reference, Doctor O." ghay'cha

"'Ill let you eat a hot pocket out of my hot pocket~ Waylon
"Sorry we burnt you in the oven before birth" ~Waylon

"with side of s***ty sauce of fries and turd sandwhich with cum sauce" -SLIP
"vagina face hugger XD"-SLIP
"one time i s*** on my neborhbor yard and didnt tell him"SLIP

"You exploded Jofiel." Or did Jofiel explode himself?"

there once was a chicken who was really f***ing hungry. He went through all his cabinets and fridge but couldnt find anything but some left over Chinese. because you know there is always left over Chinese food. He didnt want that though so he got really p***ed off and went into his room mate, the roosters room. The rooster was bangin this ferret and chicken punched the s*** out of them both,after doing so he felt better but still really f***ing hungry, so he went to the fridge and got out the rice, he downed the whole container in one bite then fell over dead. it was chicken fried rice and he couldnt live with himself after knowing what he did. EATING HIS OWN KIND? SUCH NONSENSE! after the rooster finished with the ferret he went to the kitchen and saw chicken laying on the floor. for revenge for hitting him while getting laid rooster cut off chickens head. miniature headless chicken flew from chickens headless neck and began frantically running around the kitchen. ....the end

Yo,My names Kitty, and I lick my paws. If you don't like it, I'll scratch you with my paws. My favorite thing to do, is pee on Nathan's clothes, then he has to wash them. Man, that f***ing blows. I also really like to roll in the dirt, pick me up and get all that s*** on your shirt. I have cat teeth, and I have cat lips. I have cat skin, and I have cat hips. Wat.

in the beginning we were all fishes.. swimming around in the water and then one day a couple of fishes made retard babies and the retard baby was different so it got it live.the retard fish goes on to make more retard babies and then one day a retard baby fish were out of the ocean with its mutant fish hands and it had butt sex with the squirrel or something and made retard frog squirrel and then that had a retard baby was a monkey fish frog and then this monkey fish frog had sex with that monkey and that monkey had a retard baby but it screwed another monkey and that made you

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Shrek got me again

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Anonymous asked

No since I'm on a low carb diet now :'(
Wtf:( I was gonna get you some

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Dokter Klein, what is Mobious up to now?


Heyya, hii there stranger.. My name is Ravi.. How have you been?